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When the Tuna Went Down to Texas: How Bill Parcells Led the Cowboys Back to the Promised Land ebook

by Mike Shropshire


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Bill Parcells was living in self-imposed exile from the National Football League sidelines. To the Land of Goodys Headache Powder. Mike Shropshire is the author of The Pro, Seasons in Hell, and When the Tuna Went Down to Texas. He lives in Dallas, Texas. The Tuna had earned living-legend status after coaching the Giants, Patriots, and Jets from the skid-row district of the NFL and transforming those teams into champions. The final weeks of the 2002 season found Parcells working as an analyst at the ESPN studios. His heart aching, Parcells was like a televangelist with no cripples to heal.

When the Tuna Went Down to Texas: How Bill Parcells Led the Cowboys Back to the Promised Land.

He went down to the front desk and berated the desk clerk about the key to his room not working.

Mike Shropshire is a longtime journalist who has written for numerous newspapers and magazines such as Sports Illustrated and is the author of several books, including When the Tuna Went down to Texas: How Bill Parcells Led the Cowboys Back to the Promised Land. If, however, you enjoy funny anecdotes about the game this book will keep you riveted. Here's an example: The author, who covered the Texas Rangers, decided to walk back to his downtown hotel in Detroit from Tiger Stadium following a night game. He went down to the front desk and berated the desk clerk about the key to his room not working.

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When the Tuna Went Down to Texas: How Bill Parcells Led the Cowboys Back to the Promised Land, William Morrow (New York, NY), 2004. Runnin' with the Big Dogs: The True, Unvarnished Story of the Texas-Oklahoma Football Wars, William Morrow (New York, NY), 2006. SIDELIGHTS: Mike Shropshire is the author of a number of sports-themed books and also, with fiction writer Frank Schaefer, of a biography of the second female Texas governor, a grassroots politician with many supporters

Find nearly any book by Mike Shropshire. Get the best deal by comparing prices from over 100,000 booksellers.

Find nearly any book by Mike Shropshire. Founded in 1997, BookFinder. The Tuna had earned living-legend status after coaching the Giants, Patriots, and Jets from the skid-row district of the NFL and transforming those teams into champions

Bill Parcells was living in self-imposed exile from the National Football League sidelines.

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Bill Parcells was living in self-imposed exile from the National Football League sidelines. The Tuna had earned living-legend status after coaching the Giants, Patriots, and Jets from the skid-row district of the NFL and transforming those teams into champions. The final weeks of the 2002 season found Parcells working as an analyst at the ESPN studios. His heart aching, Parcells was like a televangelist with no cripples to heal. The Tuna urgently yearned for another lost cause.

In Dallas, Cowboys' owner Jerry Jones -- described by author Mike Shropshire as "a man involved in a heroic struggle to overcome what had been diagnosed as a terminal face-lift" -- was suffering through sleepless nights. Although his once-proud pro football powerhouse traveled beneath a banner that read "America's Team," it had suffered three straight 5–11 seasons. This team was so sick, it had bedsores.

After a clandestine meeting aboard Jones's private jet, parked at a New Jersey airport, Parcells agreed to abandon his East Coast roots and travel south to restore life to the Cowboys. The Tuna and Jones needed each other in the worst kind of way, so a shotgun wedding was performed. The pundits of the national media joined hands and shouted, "Parcells and Jones can't stand each other! They're too set in their ways! It'll never work!"

As usual, the pundits were wrong. With Parcells the ultimate motivator and so-called Jock Whisperer applying his craft, Dallas rolled to a 10–6 regular-season record and shocked the NFL by making the playoffs. When the Tuna Went Down to Texas details the saga of how this unlikely partnership of men "too brittle for tango lessons, but not yet blind enough for assisted living" amazed the sports world and serves as absolute proof that while the truth is not always stranger than fiction, it's usually a lot funnier.

Gom
I remembered this fondly from years ago, and was reminded of it watching Witten the other day. I sent it to a friend. He called and said: "This is hilarious". Did its job.
Peras
THIS BOOK IS ABOUT BILL PARCELLS TAKING OVER AS HEAD COACH OF THE DALLAS COWBOYS. ALONG THE WAY WE GET TO READ ABOUT JERRY JONES'S FACE LIFT, JERRY JONES QUITTING DRINKING AND A BUNCH OF OTHER UNRELATED JUNK TO FILL THIS BORING BOOK. AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED, THE ONLY INTEREST IN THIS BOOK CAME IN THE SECOND HALF OF THIS WHEN WE TAKE A RIDE GAME BY GAME THRU THE SEASON AND ENDS WITH THE COWBOYS MAKING THE PLAYOFFS BUT LOSING THEIR ONLY PLAYOFF GAME. OTHER THAN THAT, THIS BOOK IS HIGHLY RECOMMENDED FOR THOSE WHO SUFFER FROM INSOMNIA AND WANT AN INSTANT CURE.
Kirimath
Reading is often a solitary and silent pastime. Occasionally the solitude may be interrupted by a desire to share a humorous line with someone within earshot. Sometimes, the reader laughing out loud can break the silence generally present when reading. While reading WHEN THE TUNA WENT DOWN TO TEXAS: How Bill Parcells Led the Cowboys Back to the Promised Land, by Mike Shropshire, this reader had numerous moments of laughing out loud and savoring classic comments by the author in hopes of remembering those lines for future use.

In the mid-90s the Dallas Cowboys were a football juggernaut, destroying opponents on a weekly basis. Dynasties end for many reasons. To some degree the Cowboys' reign ended because new rules were put in place that limited the ability of franchises to string championship seasons together. Salary caps and free agency, now an essential part of the NFL player agreement, make it far more difficult for a team to build and maintain the foundation of players that allow a team to continually repeat winning seasons. But free agency and salary caps were not the only reasons for the downfall of the Cowboys. Several cracks in the foundation of the empire were self-inflicted. The story of the Cowboys' road to mediocrity began with a star player and two precious little hookers.

The star player was wide receiver Michael Irvin, whose liaison with working girls led to a felony drug possession charge. Even a celebrity such as Irvin faced danger in the Texas criminal justice system. As a former prosecutor in Dallas observed to Shropshire, "I don't really know the facts of this particular case, but if the prosecution can get a couple of Lutherans on the jury, then Irvin will get a maximum sentence." The criminal prosecution destroyed the franchise. Former Green Bay Packer star Jerry Kramer observed, "Whenever I see the Cowboys on TV, I don't know who to root for --- the defense or the prosecution. No, this will never be America's Team, if it is then woe for America."

The man in charge of the Cowboys during their trip from the top of the heap to the bottom was Jerry Jones, an Arkansas businessman described by many as coming across "like the banjo picker in Deliverance." Shropshire interviewed Jones for Sports Illustrated immediately after the purchase of the franchise and the two men shared grudging respect. Jones was actively involved in every aspect of running the Cowboys. If allowed by the NFL he would have considered coaching the team, but that wish was not to be approved. Instead, he hired coaches that he could control. As long as the Cowboys had great talent, total control was successful. But as the talent level of America's team declined, the need for an outstanding coach grew. Before the Parcells era would commence, Jones hired Dave Campo. As Shropshire observes, "the Dave Campo regime shortly became a living-color illustration of what happens when the Peter Principle collides head-on with Murphy's Law. Since Campo was universally hailed as a 'nice guy,' he could also serve as exhibit A to the Leo Durocher doctrine --- the one that mandates where nice guys will inevitably finish." After a losing season in 2002, Dave Campo was fired.

Enter Bill Parcells. Football fans were stunned. Sports Illustrated voiced the opinion of the country: "Are You Kidding Me?" But it was no joke. Jones gave Parcells full and free reign to run the team, and the future Hall of Fame inductee did not disappoint his owner. WHEN THE TUNA WENT DOWN TO TEXAS gives the football fanatic an outline for building or rebuilding a franchise. Start with a head coach who remembers every crucial play that cost him a game during his coaching career as well as the assistant coach who designed and called the play. When the opportunity presents itself, hire that innovative assistant coach for your new team. Next, find a few quality players as a foundation for the team. Parcells believed strongly in the "80-20" theory that goes with any successful organization. Under that rule, the 20 percent of the workforce that's the most talented always generates 80 percent of the positive results. For the woeful Cowboys, even that 20 percent was a difficult task.

Parcells persevered. Somehow he led the Cowboys to the playoffs in that first year. Shropshire chronicles the season, some games in detail, others in passing. Fanatical fans may find WHEN THE TUNA WENT DOWN TO TEXAS light on statistics and fantasy football minutiae. Most fans will enjoy this book for what it is: an irreverent and humorous look at the game of football and three of its icons --- a franchise, an owner and the Tuna.

--- Reviewed by Stuart Shiffman
SiIеnt
I live in Dallas, and I've followed the Cowboys for many, many years. I'm a big fan--and I loved reading this book. Why? Because it tells the truth, and even though the truth sometimes hurts, in this book it only hurts when your sides are aching from laughing so much. Shropshire, who is just about the funniest sports writer around--Don Imus called his earlier book Seasons in Hell "the single funniest sports book I have ever read"--doesn't pull any punches here. He lives in Dallas too, and he knows these guys. He gives us juicy behind-the-scenes anecdotes (how he got these I'll never know--must have had a mole in the Cowboys' locker room) as well as all the standard stuff, and Shropshire's style makes it a great read. AND FUNNY--if you can read the last sentence in this book (it's X-rated) and not smile and want to read the rest, you're a stronger man than I.
Oveley
Let me preface this review by stating that I'm as die-hard a Dallas Cowboys fan as you'll ever meet on this Earth. I have read just about everything ever written about the Cowboys and their various coaches over the years. So naturally, I was very excited when I saw this book in the bookstore and immediately bought it. By the time I finished reading it three days later, I was very disappointed.

The author seems to be trying way too hard to sound like a good writer. His sentences are way too flowery, and he always goes for the 38-word description rather than the 3-word description. For example, in the chapter discussing the Cowboys' exciting overtime win against the Giants on Monday Night Football, rather than giving us a one-paragraph introduction briefly describing the emergence of MNF and then immediately segueing into a description of this particular MNF game, the author rambles on for 8 pages giving us way more detail on the early days of MNF than we could ever want. I was reading the book because I wanted to read about the 2003 Dallas Cowboys and Bill Parcells, not because I wanted a history lesson regarding how MNF came to be.

The author also makes a great deal of factual mistakes in the book that any die-hard fan (or maybe just one as obsessive about the Cowboys as I am) would pick up. For example, the writer informs his readers that the Cowboys of the 1990s won Super Bowls 29, 30, and 32, when in fact they won Super Bowls 27, 28, and 30. Also, he describes how Terrell Owens danced on the star at Texas Stadium, then came back the very next year to torch Dwayne Goodrich for the game-winning touchdown, when in fact Dallas got revenge on Owens the year after he danced on the star, beating the 49ers handily and holding Owens scoreless. The now-infamous "Campo-Coslet decide to punt, Dwayne Goodrich and Tony Dixon get torched" game was TWO year after the star incident, NOT the very next year. The Dallas Cowboys and all their fans took great pride in getting their revenge on Terrell Owens the year after the star incident, and this author denies that it even happened.

In general, the book is a collection of some "behind-the-scenes" stories that anyone who closely follows the Cowboys would already know, excerpts lifted from a MUCH better Bill Parcells book ("The Final Season"), and some all-too-brief recaps of the games played last year buried amongst pages and pages of trivial crap that the author threw in to make his writing sound more flowery.

Overall, this book is about two things that interest me greatly (the Dallas Cowboys and Bill Parcells), but this author manages to sap all the life out of it and write a book that is tedious for even the most die-hard fan. Where is the insider information? The information in this book could be obtained simply by going to the Cowboys' website. Where are all the witty Parcells coach-speak quips? Parcells is FAMOUS for hilarious remarks. Where are they? The only thing saving this book from a one-star or ZERO-star rating is that it's about the Dallas Cowboys. A better author would have produced a MUCH better book. I got the feeling that this author wrote this book without ever having an actual conversation with Bill Parcells. If you're a Bill Parcells fan, you'll prefer to read "The Final Season." It is actually written BY Bill Parcells and contains more of his wit and his wealth of football knowledge than this book does.

This book deserved a better author.
When the Tuna Went Down to Texas: How Bill Parcells Led the Cowboys Back to the Promised Land ebook
Author:
Mike Shropshire
Category:
Biographies
Subcat:
EPUB size:
1142 kb
FB2 size:
1655 kb
DJVU size:
1465 kb
Language:
Publisher:
William Morrow; 1st Edition edition (August 31, 2004)
Pages:
256 pages
Rating:
4.7
Other formats:
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